Kingswood Country
Rated: PG
Running Time: Unknown
Distributor: Shock


Long before The Simpsons, there was the Bullpitts. Debuting in 1980 and running for four years, 'Kingswood Country' chronicled the dysfunctional and oh-so politically incorrect, bigoted and sexist ways of Ted 'Grumblebum' Bullpitt, his ditzy wife Thelma and their offspring Craig and Greta.

Set mostly in the kitchen and lounge room of the family home (complete with a concrete lawn aborigine called Neville) in Wombat Crescent, Goanna Heights, much of the show's storylines focused around Ted and his hair-brained get-rich-quick schemes, as well as general day-to-day disgruntlements involving misconstrued multicultural and political issues that stereotypically reflected the uglier side of the Australian male.

Ted's life is centered around his favourite armchair, his two overweight greyhounds - Gay Akubra and Repco Lad whom he takes for walks in a wheelbarrow - and his beloved, over-accessorised Holden Kingswood. It's the latter that's referred to when Ted declares one of the show's most oft-quoted catchphrases when asked for the keys to the car: "You're not taking the Kingswood!..." This is then followed by some absurd reasoning, such as having just Mister Sheened the towbar, Glad Wrapped the hubcaps or carpeted the glovebox.

Other memorable quotes from the series include, "Don't you dad me boy, I'm your father!", "When I was a boy we were too poor to afford a motorbike. The closest I got was painting the horse black and feeding him a bucket full of radishes" and, not forgetting his forerunner to Homer's "D'oh!", "Pickle me grandmother!"

Adding to Ted's torment is Greta's Italian, purple Valiant-driving husband Bruno, who he openly calls a 'wog' and constantly fires racial slurs towards. Then there's Ted's unscrupulous brother, Bob, who is of all things a Datsun dealer ("...That's not a car, that's a Dim Sim on wheels"). As a wife, they don't come much more traditional than Thelma. Totally emersed in credit card shopping and domestic duties, Thelma provides much humour by the way of her malapropisms and overt use of household products.

It was later in the series that she decided to leave the show (Thelma went on a Woman's Weekly world cruise no less) and, much to Ted's disdain, was replaced with Bruno's mother, Rosa, and the Kingswood, which incidentally was never sighted, was traded in for a Commodore.

This is classic Aussie comedy from classic Aussie times - Coo-eee!

Steve Jones