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· Puff 'n' Stuff
Everything that's happening in Adelaide this fortnight.

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Theatre news.

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Dance and electronica news.

· Metal
Updates from the wide world of metal.

Puff 'n' Stuff.

In any other town it would be Christmas by now: Honestly, Adelaide's had the Fringe, the Festival, WOMADelaide, the Adelaide Cup and the Clipsal 500 all in the space of about 20 minutes while lesser places might have decided to spread them out over a number of months. That's the SA difference: efficiency. We've gotten all our party out in one healthy hit - a festive statewide enema, if you will - and now still have nine months left with which to get on with the rest of 2006, free from the pressures of anticipation or excitement.

Puff wants to give a mad-props-style shout out to the charming and erudite Mr Jeremy Wright, who has helmed the dB Magazine website for the last couple of years in magnificent style. He's moving on to less-cyber pastures but as a parting gift he's put a searchable index up at www.dbmagazine.com.au, which means that you can now enjoy every single issue of dB Magazine since October 2002! What a guy. Excelsior, Mr Wright, and godspeed.

Time to face the strange ch-ch-changes: look out, you rock'n'rollers! And by "rock'n'rollers" Puff means "The Ben Farrell Band", who wish it to be known that are now no longer to be known as The Ben Farrell Band but as the more collective new sobriquet The Apple Merchants. They also have a new drummer, Tom Putnam, and you can see him hit things in the newly monikered 'Merchants at the Grace Emily Hotel on Sat 8 April.

Mr Wednesday are set to launch their debut full-length album, and they're doing it properly. No nondescript gig in a pub's back room for them: they've enlisted a full string section to accompany them, as well as enticed Melbourne's Mountains In The Sky to come over for the show, to join Qua, DJ Tim Koch and DJ dAUBIST in an A1 lineup at Fowler's Live on Fri 5 May.

Universe also have a new drummer and are set to make with the rock at Jive on Sat 1 April, along with Dexter Jones.

However, it's not all new names and drummers: some local bands are ringing down the curtain on almost a decade of punk. Like, for example, Lapdogs: they're calling time on the rock with a show at the Enigma Bar on Fri 7 April with Day On Fire and 919, and the band will also be handing out copies of their Finished At The Starting Line single.

Similarly Sledgehammock have decided that music's just too small for them and hence they're calling it a day: bid them adieu at Jive on Fri 31 March with Qantum Kaos and Tony Font Show.

Those fine men from Sydney's Starky will be popping by in support of their unambiguously titled 'Starky' CD-EP for a show at Jive on Fri 7 April with Poly & The Statics.

Yo! Dogg in da house! And by "Dogg" Puff means "Snoop Dogg", "house" refers to "the EntCent on Thurs 6 April", "da" is a phonetic replacement for "the", "yo!" is a euphemism for "attention!", and "in" is... well, you know what "in" is. Hopefully that clears things up.

Lovers of punky women making a sex-positive empowering feminist statement and those who like watching punky women getting their kits off will both be well served at Fowler's Live on Wed 5 April when the Suicide Girls burlesque troupe perform along with DJ Dr El Sauvo and Ground Components.

The Hilltop Hoods make a triumphant return to the Adelaide stage with the launch of their 'The Hard Road' disc at the Adelaide Uni Cloisters on Sat 1 April.

Stuff from Puff: There's been heated dramas in the Eurovision preliminaries: Serbia-Montenegro pulled out over Serbian accusations that the Montenegran judges deliberately and tactically voted to get their country's act No Name into the contest. Montenegro refused to a new contest and withdrew, meaning that the countries could be looking at a fine of up to Ł15,000, as well as a three year ban from the contest. An internal conflict in Central Europe? Puff is aghast... On the other hand, their loss is Croatia's gain: their winner will now automatically get into the finals, as per the ridiculously arcane seeding rules that govern Eurovision... After years of denying that The Smiths have ever been given suitable financial inducement to reform, during his press conference at South By Southwest on Thurs 16 March Morrissey revealed that the band had been offered US$5 million to headline Coachella 2006. The offer was rejected: "When you start doing things for money, something terrible happens to you. I haven't reached that stage... but I might."... Last year the geniuses behind the All Tomorrow's Parties festivals unveiled a series of shows where artists played an entire album in concert, and the first few gigs of the 2006 "Playback" series have been announced: if you're in the UK in July, you'll be able to catch Teenage Fanclub ('Bandwagonesque'), Green On Red (reforming to perform 'Gas Food Lodging'), Tortoise ('Millions Now Living Will Never Die') and Low ('Things We Lost In The Fire')... Puff is glad to see that Shakira is giving something back to her community: her former Columbian home town of Barranquilla will shortly be graced by a sixteen-foot steel statue of herself, created by Germany sculptor Dieter Patt. While Shakira hopes that the statue will inspire people to follow their dreams, Puff assumes it will also magically solve the endemic poverty of the region much more successfully than, say, money or the establishment of some sort of charitable organisation would have done... "Arrrghhhh!" Yes, that's the unmistakable sound of Doug Martsch of Built To Spill detaching his retina, an injury which has led to a series of gig cancellations by the band in the US before the release of their upcoming 'You In Reverse' disc... The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame awards on Mon 13 March were a glittering celebration of crankiness: first the Sex Pistols boycotted their own induction, then Black Sabbath watched Metallica play some Sabbath songs since they couldn't be arsed doing it themselves, and then former Blondie members Frank Infante and Nigel Harrison (guitarist and bassist respectively, who'd unsuccessfully tried to sue the band into including them in their reformation tours and album) begged the current lineup to let them perform after their induction. The request was denied. Hail hail, rock'n'roll... And Puff was going to mention that Pete Doherty had appeared in court on Thurs 23 March, pleaded guilty to seven counts of drug possession and then kicked a reporter on the way out of court - but this is meant to be about news, not things you could reasonably predict would happen on a fortnightly basis. Puff would like to add that there'd be a lot more respect for Doherty's loose-cannon ways if the Babyshambles album hadn't been such arse, you know... Bad news, Limp Biskit fan: it looks like the band have split. Probably. Guitarist Wes Borland, who quit the band and then returned to great fanfare a couple of years back, is now focusing on his new band Black Light Burns and told mtv.com "As of right now, none of my future plans include Limp Bizkit." Then again, no-one's plans include Limp Bizkit, Wes... Mind you, as one band grinds to a halt, another ramps up: all of the rumours about Roxy Music's original lineup reforming - including longtime holdout Brian Eno - appear to be true. Eno, Bryan Ferry, Andy MacKay, Phil Manzanera and Paul Thompson are working on a new Roxy album (the first in 24 years, and the first with Eno since 1973)... And the reunions continue apace! The Slits - yes, the UK's legendary all-female punk trio- have confirmed that they're re-punking for shows in Dublin and Berlin in May... However, while we're on the subject of reformations, if you - like Puff - have been hoping for a Pixies Australian visit or new album, you might want to exhale: according to guitarist Joey Santiago there are no plans beyond their mid-year European tour, adding that they've all got other things happening: he's working on soundtracks, Kim Deal has a new disc for The Breeders coming out, Frank Black's double album is set for release and Dave Lovering will be doing a tour with his science magic show. Come on: one week in Australia, how hard would that be?

Global folk collective Mosaik have found windows in their respective schedules and agreed to convene in Australia for a tour - and as luck would have it, said tour will take in the SA Folk Centre on Sun 2 April with Dionysus (which is possibly a band rather than the Greek god of wine - but hey, you never know).

So what's happening with South Park and Chef? First up there's a seemingly uncharacteristic statement from Isaac Hayes asking to be released from this contract with the show due to the show's "growing insensitivity towards personal spiritual beliefs," which seems to be a complaint directed at the show's mocking of Scientology (the "church" of which Hayes is a member). Co-creator/writer/performer Matt Stone's not unreasonable response pointed out that "In 10 years and over 150 episodes of 'South Park' Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslims, Mormons and Jews. He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show," and while Chef appeared in the first episode of the new season, all of his lines were taken from existing recordings (and the character was subsequently eaten by a bear). However, now word comes through that Hayes suffered a stroke earlier this year and would be incapable of writing a resignation letter (and, Puff presumes, performing as Chef), raising the possibility that someone close to Hayes is making decisions on his behalf. Has anyone thought to blame Canada yet? They have? OK.

He might be a legendary producer who's worked with the likes of U2 and Bob Dylan, by Daniel Lanois is also an excellent musician in his own right - and hence will be playing at the Gov on Sat 8 April with his band and special guest Jackie Bristow.

Hey, sharp-eyed readers: Nic Datsun, him out of The Backfeed Slumber and No Through Road, lost his guitar and pedals after the 'Road's Rocket Bar show a few weeks back. It's a red Mustang guitar, possibly accompanied by a wooden case-cum-pedalboard arrangement, last seen in a taxi - any news on its whereabouts would be gratefully received. Call Nic on 0410 624 677, or if they've fallen into your possession accidentally and you'd rather drop them into the dB Magazine office, no questions asked, we'll happily reunite them with Mr Datsun.

The good people from Straight 2 The Ace have been so moved by the scenes of cyclone Larry-wrought devastation in far north Queensland that they're putting on a fundraising show to raise some much-needed dollars: details on the charities and lineup will be coming soon, but be advised that the show's happening on Sun 23 April at Fowler's Live from 4pm.

Those Youth Group kids are having a good time of it: a deal with Epitaph in the US, the national support for Coldplay and a #2 single with Forever Young (which was originally done by Austrian electro trio Alphaville, a fact that our nerdish Music Editor Andrew P Street won't shut up about for some reason), thanks to its exposure on 'The OC'. So they're doing a lap of the nation to celebrate, which sees them at the Flinders Uni Tavern on Sat 20 May.

Don't forget that r'n'b/hip-hop superstar Kanye West will be sassing up Thebbie on Wed 29 March, the very day this issue hits da streets.

The Bakelite Age (you know, that punk band from Melbourne that features Link from The Meanies) are heading over for a couple of shows: first up, they hit the Crown & Anchor on Fri 31 March with The Meatbeaters and Backseat Romeos, then they head to the Port for a show at the Ales & Sails with the Catholic Altered Boys.

Lovers of things indie should ensure they're at the Jade Monkey on Sat 1 April for the first night of Jam, with DJs Ross and Craig spinning all the indie-kid faves as only they can.

Yo! Bum rush the Gov! Yes, legendary hip-hop pioneers Public Enemy will be proving that 000 is indeed a joke at the Governor Hindmarsh on Tues 11 April.

Don't forget that r'n'b/hip-hop superstar Kayne West will be sassing up Thebbie on Wed 29 March, the very day this issue hits da streets.

Puff believes in a thing called The Darkness, and with good reason: a band of the same name will be playing at Thebarton Theatre on Sat 8 April, along with After The Fall.

They've done a split CD together and now they're doing a national tour together: why don't Trial Kennedy and Horsell Common just get married if they love each other so much? In any case, they'll be playing an all-ages show at the Enigma Bar on Thurs 13 April with The Open Season and Move To Strike.

Time may change Puff, but Puff can't trace time - and nor can you, which is why you should...

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