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Naked Women's Wrestling League.
On the Comedy Channel's 'Hit & Run' they once asked outspoken
and political stand up comedian Tommy Dean to be campaign manager
for a porn star in a local Queensland election. He joked that
all he heard were the words "Porn Star". This was very similar
to my experience when I was asked if I wanted to interview someone
from the Naked Women's Wrestling League.
The only words I heard were "Naked" and "Women". So, I jumped at the chance, ignoring the fact that the phrase had "wrestling" in the title, as well as the warning that someone had already picked up the DVD to accompany the interview and had been deeply disturbed by it.
You see, when you first hear the term "Naked Women's Wrestling League" it doesn't really sink in. Even when you consider the term wrestling, it seems oxymoronic. I thought it would be a titillating experience akin to Foxy Boxing. I couldn't have been more wrong: the Naked Women's Wrestling League is all about wrestling. The fact that the stars are naked is secondary to pile drivers and submission holds. Imagine moves that The Rock would do to Mankind, or Hulk Hogan to Andre The Giant, then picture them as naked women and you'll get the idea. Hence, to be honest, I cannot honestly see how it can turn anybody on: like real wrestling, it looks real, and it looks like it would hurt! I know that it is all staged, but these ladies don't have much to protect them from pinches, punches and pratfalls.
When I interviewed NWWL star Ninja Chops, I expressed my concern
at the possibility of rope burn and other injuries in uncomfortable
places. "There is no prospect to think of pain," she begins
in a badly faked oriental accent, and I know that I'm not going
to get the answers I came for. "It is about the passion and
the amazing feeling you get from being thrown onto the mat,
thrown into the ring. The red passion in my opponents eyes,
the fire burning within, feels soooo good," she purrs.
On the DVD the extra features show the girls training with the same trainer used by Trish Stratus and Edge of World Wrestling Entertainment (formerly WWF, but they had to change it because of people kept getting wrestling confused with the World Wildlife Fund and expected to see pandas smashing chairs over each other). "Much training is done. I train with sensei and wrestling coach on wrestling mat. Many hours of training is spent, yes, to learn all the moves to capture my opponents fire and take her down with my mighty will!" Ninja Chops breathes. "Most training is with me nude, to make moves that follow my body movements and to strengthen the most... virtuous parts." Ah huh! I took that to mean it's beneficial to train nude so you know where to grab and be grabbed safely, and escape turning the DVD into something that could only be sold out of Canberra.
Since a naked wrestler doesn't have the same opportunities for product endorsement that clothed wrestlers can, we'll probably not see the NWWL reach the lofty levels of the WWE Smackdown, for example. Ms Chops disagrees, saying her name alone should sell any endorsements. Still, I was curious as to why someone would want to do this. Could Ms Chops see this as a stepping-stone into the WWE, perhaps? "NWWL is enough for my passion and to see where my fighting may lead. This WWE falls within the sphere of my life, then I will fight, but NWWL is just fine for me." And what do her family and friends think of her profession. "Far, far away my family know not of television or pay per view. They know I fight virtuous, and I fight for them with courage and much passion." Fair enough, but she did mention she was from Canada.
I had to wonder what someone who spent the majority of their day throwing naked women around did in their spare time. "Well my side job is special massage", she purrs, "and I do hair cutting for various, famous celebrity. I do that naked for very, very special customers," she adds seductively after asking me if I needed a haircut. I decline, and wonder how the hell I'm going to pull this off... er, the interview, I mean...
Julian Cram
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'Naked Women's Wrestling League Volume 1' is out now through Siren DVD.
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The latest issue
available now!
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